So many see sex as just for youngsters. Hogwash! Infuse your sex with intimacy and watch how your relational life improves, especially as you age. Remember YOU HAVE EXPERIENCE! Let go of the expectation that physically active teenagers and twenty-somethings are in their sexual prime. You have wisdom, and experience, so remember to take your time, be playful, and be honest with who you are! This can reap many more benefits around love than the young movie stars play out through their acting.
1 Redefine Your Self
Remember when you worked full time and that was what you did, and who you were? So much social validation and purpose from the outside. Relationship counseling can assist you in expanding how you take your self to be without work, so you can validate your self, while in relationship, and have more fun sexually. Learn how to pleasantly self-charge, self-soothe, and self-validate to redefine your self! This can be fun way to grow in mature ways, which can get you out of ruts.
2 Leading and Following
In the past recall how important it was to call the shots and be in control. Adult intimacy as we age asks us to be flexible, to postpone, to initiate, and to follow. Talk with your partner about who is leading, and who is following, then have fun practicing letting your partner lead when they want to. Why not try saying: “I’m going to be the best darned follower you ever saw!” Ask them to follow your lead once in a while, and make a game out it.
3 Expand your sexuality tools: breathe together!
Who says the lights have to be off, and to keep your eyes closed during sex? Marriage counseling can offer you ways to have a deeper, more open intimate connection to your own body, and with your partner. Breathe together to increase the intimacy, with a dim light or candle off to the side, and watch each other kindly! Remember that performance is not the key here, it’s presence with your self and your partner. Similar to tantra, grow your tolerance of a higher oxygen charge in your body, and take your time! Adults know building intimacy isn’t automatic!