Is Your Relationship Missing the Sexual Intimacy it Once Had?

As you know, in the beginning of relationship the romance and intimacy is abundant, plentiful and fulfilling.  Do you remember the passion of the early days?  Have you wondered why the passion can easily wane?  Why doesn’t it last forever?

Do you notice any of these in your relationship?

  • Power Struggles
  • Painful Fighting
  • No Desire for Intimacy and Sex
  • Super-quick Anger
  • Lack of Communication
  • Hopelessness, Negativity, Disconnection

If so, would you like to deepen your sexual intimacy with your partner?

When your heart longs for the connection you had in the past, you may experience this stage as aloneness.  The pain can feel terrible.  Disconnection is eternally known.

You Can Deepen the Sexual Connection With Your Partner by:

  • Stopping the negative patterns for increased emotional intimacy
  • Creating new foundations and expectations for your relationship
  • Learning healthy relationship boundaries
  • Learning to access your body’s wisdom
  • Learning to use your mind and body to heal your sex issues

Unfortunately, some people end their relationship before they open themselves to relationship help with a trained third party.  Your relationship is worth the time and energy for some relationship counseling.

Together we will focus on your building intimacy concerns through numerous avenues of couples counseling, healing that address your specific issues.

 

  • Learn ways to calm yourself when sexual anxiety surfaces
  • Uncover and practice ways to fight fairly
  • Talk through ways to have better sex and intimacy

 

You may feel a bit uncomfortable talking to someone about getting marriage help.  Some people who come in are scared, anxious and apprehensive.

The pain in your relationship can feel overwhelming.  However, dismissing the problem through blame or denial can lead to premature breakup or a difficult divorce.  What used to feel hopeless and negative can become alive, fresh, and new again in a healthy marriage through marital therapy.

The best part is that sexual issues in relationship are normal, predictable, and transformable.

What if my relationship problem isn’t sexual?

That can be the situation at times.  Intimacy problems other than sexuality can be addressed successfully through marriage counseling.   High anxiety, moodiness, and feeling low, among others, can happen.  You can learn how to work with your intimacy problems for a better, happier relationship.  Habits from the past can affect relationship, and you can uncover new ways of building intimacy, to be more authentic, real, and in charge of your life, which can improve your sexual intimacy and relationship.

My partner says they won’t go to marital therapy!
It’s natural to feel disappointed when this happens.  However when you get relationship help individually, you empower yourself in the process.  Many times your partner will notice the positive impact therapy has on you and the relationship.   You can take big steps towards healthy marriage by doing individual therapy and applying what you learn to your relationship. Your partner may change their minds about attending marriage counseling.

Shouldn’t sex be natural?

Everyone has a wish for marriage intimacy to be spontaneous, natural, and care-free.  Yet we all know adult sexual intimacy involves real growth of the parties involved.  Learning important yet simple focusing, breathing, and awareness tools in couples counseling can benefit your sex life so it does become more of a natural extension of who you are for a more fun, and more alive, sexuality.

What about anger?

Anger is a normal response in conflict when you’re not having sex, especially for males.
In relationship counseling you can learn how to RELEASE your anger without hurting yourself or the other.  (Hint: release anger away from your partner, then later come back to discuss.)  Releasing effectively will uncover more of your own inner strength to be yourself and be sexual.    Anger separates people, and you don’t have to keep distancing yourself from your partner through unreleased anger.

Shouldn’t we be able to solve these problems ourselves?

Many couples solve hundreds of marriage problems in their lives and in their relationship on their own, which is great!   But when relationship and sexuality feels overwhelmingly complex,  a trained third party can help you solve the power struggles, the repeating fights, the lack of desire, the lack of communication, and the big angry blow-ups all for the benefit of improving the sexual intimacy in your relationship

What if my partner is having an affair?

Affairs can be very difficult to get through.   Many couples who have received marriage help have successfully gone through the painful experience of an affair and grown closer together.  Learning how to deal with the effects of an affair can end up deepening the relationship.  People learn how human we all are, and there’s a good chance of forgiveness through therapy.

PETE and MARY

These clients (names have been changed) had a good relationship for many years until their successful, busy lives, and different interests dismissed their sex life.  As sexless weeks wore on they both acknowledged they wanted to be passionate and stop blaming each other.  However Pete said he would not attend therapy as a couple, and wanted a few individual sessions.  After three individual appointments with each of them, they both experienced an increase in their desire, and Pete changed his mind about couples counseling.  Now they look forward to their marriage counseling sessions, which help them understand each others triggers, and gives them tools for enhancing their intimate relationship.   They also find marital therapy helps them maintain who they each are even when normal anxieties come up, anxieties that used to rip them apart.

Still not sure if this might be beneficial to you?

I offer a twenty minute phone consultation for free.    Why not contact me by phone at 303.534.8717 or by email to jimbowen@boulderdenvertherapy.com to begin learning how you can improve your emotional intimacy and your sex life.

Why see Jim Bowen?

My primary focus is to respect each of you and your marriage intimacy.  I am fascinated by what makes healthy relationship and healthy marriage.   I can be compassionately confrontational in our sessions, offering specific tools for your intimacy problems, far beyond normal “chat therapy”.   Don’t settle for the usual rehashing of old marriage problems.   Experience how transformative Integrative Body Psychotherapy – boundary work, breathwork, family systems, and gestalt -  for individuals and couples,  can be for your intimate relationship.   You can gain a deep, mature, alive sexuality with your partner from my approaches!  My 20-plus years of committed growth can help you have more fun, be more real, and experience levels of deep satisfaction you never thought possible.   Isn’t your life and your relationship worth it?